24 Things I Learned (and am still learning) When Turning 24
Like everyone else, 2020 has been QUITE the year. Personally, it’s been the hardest and most emotional year of my life, one where I felt the depths of sorrow, loneliness, grief, and helplessness, but also the unexpected moments of love, connection, creativity and hope. Life really slapped me in the face...hard. I have cried so, so much, I have also smiled and laughed so, so much. It’s difficult to reconcile these two ends of the spectrum, to process my new reality and sensitivity to life and relationships, but my heart tells me it’ll turn into something good. Each storm, each heartbreak, and each fall that you go through becomes a part of your story, a story that you can choose to inspire and empower others (in your own time). And with that, I wanted to share some things I’ve learned (and am still learning) this year about friendship, love, and the journey of life.
Tell people you love them, better yet, in a card or letter. Don’t leave anything left unsaid.
Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest but most important things to do in order to heal and grow.
You will always remember someone by how they made you feel when you were with them. Be the things that you loved most about the people who are gone.
Notice and really treasure those who were really there when you were at your worst, the ones who weren’t afraid to have those difficult conversations with you, and checked in often. Remember to do the same for them.
There will be days when you just feel like shit and there’s nothing to talk out. The feeling is just there. Let yourself feel like shit. Not everything needs to be turned into a positive right away.
“Grief rewrites our identity and shakes our certainties. It breaks us apart and reassembles us, different and changed.”
Ask for help and let people be there for you, especially when you think you can handle it on your own. Life is meant to be journeyed with others.
Friends are a collection of traits that show you the beauty in life. Each one will reveal something to you about yourself, love, life, and hope as you see the world through their eyes. Treat each one as a blessing, listen to them, cherish their time and remind them of their worth every chance you get.
Not taking things personally will save you a lot of energy. It’s not always about you.
People are not for us to “fix” or “save”. We have the honor of witnessing and supporting them as they find wholeness, healing and empowerment within themselves.
“You don’t get to tell people how to love you; you get to choose if you want to participate in the way they love.” - Iyanla Vanzant
Being positive isn’t pretending you’re always happy. It’s about choosing to find the good despite it all.
Someone you’ve known for a few months can touch you in ways someone you’ve known for years cannot. Time is not a measure of connection.
You are right where you need to be in life to experience, receive, learn what you need to in that very moment.
If you can end the day with feeling at least somewhat proud of yourself, you had a good day. And that is enough.
The best things in life come unexpectedly, so keep your heart open. I’m so glad I did.
Less is more.
The more you wish for something else over what you have, the more painful it is. Practice gratitude and water the grass you’re standing on, just a little bit everyday.
Pause and listen actively and intentionally to yourself and others. It does wonders, trust me.
Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time.
Use the feeling and create art. From there, hope will arise -
Don’t be afraid to be “too much”. Those who are meant to be in your life will see you and value your light.
Go only where your energy is reciprocated, celebrated and appreciated.
Slow down, smell the flowers, feel the breeze and enjoy your journey.
Thank you to those who have been right by my side through it all, you know who you are. Thank you for holding space for me, being so patient, understanding and loving. Thank you for making life so beautiful. Truly looking forward to whatever this next year has in store for me.