Dear The Boys I've Loved

You smile.
For a moment I allow my wings to flutter,
Spring flowers awaken from the laughter. 

Your eyes tell me to wade in, away from the shallow
Reaching my tippy toes, I reach out to stay afloat 
But you turn to reach for her, leaving me to swallow. 

I’ve found comfort in Friend 
He knows I’m one he can depend.  
Drifting along next to you, I listen
He doesn’t notice how much my eyes glisten.

Tell me what it’s like to be on someone’s mind-
How it feels to know you’re who he’s trying to find?
Does the world stop in his embrace? 
Does the sun warm up your face?    
From the shadows I ask - it’s my place.

“You’re too good for him, he doesn’t see how great you are!”
I stare longingly as their kind words float by
My mind unwilling to listen nor let the words pacify.

My dad named me Jade, yet I answer to jaded 
for the only love I know is unrequited. 
I wonder how much this heart can take
chasing pavements keeps me awake.

Small thorns decorate a rose
The beauty and passion each petal shows.
Heartaches and tears are brief 
To love fully is still my belief. 
I’ve simply saved more
For someone else.

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Cover photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash